Insomniac Diaries Chapter 3

Dear Diary,

You're truly the only one who understand me...

So I feel that after three years of hefty studying and review of just about every Cold Case and Without A Trace episode, I've determined that every one of these shows runs the exact same way. Sorry to ruin the end, but the first person the cops interview will inevitably be the killer. Even if its the murder body's brother who in fact called the cops to find the killer, he somehow will in the end reveal his whole masterful plot of how and why he killed the person, despite the cops having no hard evidence. Could one of these people please get a lawyer and succumb to the pressure of detective Lilly Rush. Just make fun of her screwed up haircut and her ghostly white skin and keep your mouth shut. I have not passed the bar in any state, but thanks to Law and Order (the pre late night phenomenon of my life) I could get everyone of these arrested killers off the hook. I watch to much TV...

Can someone please explain to me why the hell the world needs Twitter? Are we just trying to prove Orson Wells right? I mean my God, why the hell would I want to know what everyone I know is doing at all times. I don't care that Jeremy has "cracked his second dew and is going to continue watching TV!!!" or that Al is "making driving thirty minutes to work!!!" (By the way, I chose these two names as I know they both will never use Twitter and can enjoy the irony of the idea that they'd use such technology) But I mean seriously, the idea that I actually care what all of you are doing 24 hours a day is disturbing. That's called stalking folks. I'm convinced Twitter was created for the people that are over forty and missed out on the Facebook craze who now want to feel hip and cool. I declare now that I will not use Twitter ever. Until peer pressure gets to me. I'm a sucker for that stuff.

I'm afraid of Anime Clubs. Glad to have that off my chest. The first step is admitting the problem.

So I won my bracket pool and got 65 dollars. I also won purely for the reason that I have created the North Carolina-MSU theory. It states that no matter how the bracket is setup, these two teams will eventually play each other. It has worked 3 of the last 5 years. Keep that in mind next year before you lose yet another pool. I'm gonna go celebrate with a real meal, because that's how I roll since I became poor and writing a blog for one penny every four days.

So I just learned that the ShamWow guy has been charged with battery for beating the hell out of a 26 year old prostitute that bit his tongue and wouldn't let go. Apparently, because obviously he couldn't do it all day, hitting her in the face was the best idea he could think of. I'd like to officially declare Billy Mays the winner of the infomercial spokesman rivalry. This is bigger than Nas over Jay Z, or Eminem over Moby.