Things are just different these days. The magic we used to have is just gone. I still remember the days when the mere sight of you made my heart jump a little bit, but now it breaks my heart to say it's not there anymore. So that's why I have to say Michael Cuddyer, I'm breaking off my man crush.
Before I begin to explain why this first paragraph was so hard to write, I feel I need to finally unleash to the world the true definition of a man crush. I have been ridiculed in the past for such an expression, so therefore I need to set the ground rules on a healthy man crush.
1. This is NOT a "Bromance"
I still hate that term, but indeed this is far from a bromance. In fact a key rule to a man crush is that the figure you man crush on cannot have any clue who you are. For instance, I am one of the last 23 Bo Hart fans on this planet I believe. I can tell you almost everyone of his batting stats from his tremendous 88 game career. In know way is overly famous and does not have time for me, but he is to never know me. My man crush on Bo Hart is automatically void if I have a real relationship with the guy.
2. No Sexual Tension
Although the term is "crush" and you love these players with all your heart, you purely love them for how amazing they are at what they do, such as their sport, and not at all in some very creepy way. Man crushes are manly. This rule allows me to watch Adrian Peterson highlight videos over and over and even comment by how hes a freak of a physical specimen with no repercussions.
3. Unconditional Love
As long as you're willing to admit you have a man crush on a certain person, that person can do know wrong. They can let you down over and over again, but you always will come back, because deep down you know how amazing they are. You have to defend this player in essentially every argument and be ready to throw a punch over someone who crosses that line and says something to offensive. Fight for your player, the crush demands it.
4. No Fair Weather
This rule is tricky. Although so many of us know a person that goes on again off again with a girlfriend or boyfriend, man crushes do not permit such behavior. Once you are willing to admit a man crush exists, you must follow that player through thick and thin. However, you can break off a man crush, but such a move is final. That player is no longer yours, but simply just another player. You can still be "friends" and cheer for them, but you can no longer refer to him as "your boy!" Girls everywhere likely have no idea how big of a blow that can be to a fan, but guys are shaking their head in agreement right now.
There you have it, the four essential rules behind any good man crush. Now I have broken up man crushes before. It was a clean one when Kevin Garnett left for Boston and made sure I would never cheer for him again. And Wilson Betemit was a breeze when I noticed how awful he actually was. But Michael Cuddyer is going to be hard. I have history with this man. In I believe 2002, I went so far to make a five dollar bet that he would one day win MVP of the league with my buddy Max. I still stand behind said bet. But the simple truth is, I have somewhat moved on in the last year. I want my 2006 Cuddyer back. Not this new one. I'm man crushing on a guy from my past, and that's not fair to him. Now is this to say that come world series when he hits the game winning home run that I will not feel just as amazing? Of course not, this simply means that he is now just a beloved Twin and no longer my favorite one to watch. So I'm sorry Micahel Cuddyer, it's not you, it's me. We can still be friends, and I hope nothing but the best for you the rest of this year. But now its time to move on.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
April 6, 2002
I've been meaning to write this column for a while now. It would have made more sense when the date was actually April 6. In my defense, I had opening day, NCAA championship basketball, and free chicken wings at my exposure on Monday. Lets just say writing an article wasn't in my top priorities. But as you loyal readers are so forgiving, let me explain to you an important date in my life.
If you go up to any random person, most of them should have a day in the year that is special to them. It might be a birthday, an anniversary, or just a day where something amazing happened. These dates are implanted into our heads and bring us a chill just thinking about them. I happen to have a useless skill in remembering all dates that major things happen in my life. Everything from my first party, kiss, state championship, day in college, and other random seemingly meaningless events, I can tell you the date it happened. But more importantly I can remember one day that I'll hold dearly the rest of my life. Fortunately, most of you hold it too, but for very different reasons. Exactly 7 years and 2 days ago, I witnessed the greatest hockey game ever seen in the state of Minnesota.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqRfMPRJkY8
Watch that video. I simply dare you to. If you don't get chills from it, you very well might not have a soul. And although this game might mean something to you, let me explain what it means to me.
As many of you know, growing up I've created an unhealthy obsession with sports. Baseball will always be my first love, but hockey is right behind it. Now I will not take full credit for creating this passion, in fact I owe credit to two special people, my brother Allan and of course The Rick. I feel like my mom will be offended when she reads this, so let me make it clear that she was there for every little moment to and I'll never be able to repay her, but Al and Rick made me into the wannabe athlete I soon became.
By the age of 12, the two men in my life had formed me into a top notch baseball player and a hockey player that always worked hard enough to get cut at the last second (I swear I'm not bitter...Mike Ryan...). So with the baseball season ending and winter coming around, what could be a better joy for a 12 year old hockey player than season tickets at Marriuchi Arena for the entire Gopher hockey season. Those Saturday nights with the Rick are some of the happiest I'll ever remember. I came to love that team like my own family. To this day, I can still recall damn near every player including the likes of Johnny Pohl, Jordan Leopold, Kieth Ballard, Matt Demarchi, Matt Koalska, Jon Waibel, Paul Martin, Troy Riddle, and Nick Angell. As The Rick and I watched every home game every Saturday night, I fell in love with the atmosphere. I learned every cheer, every dance, every fight song, and basically anything the student section would do. This was my team. This was so my team in fact, that not one time that I went to a game did the gophers lose. Through all the Twins, Vikings, Timberwolves, and any other sports team that I have loved, this roster ranks above them all.
As the season ended, I was elated when the Gophers made it to field of 16 for the national tournament. I didn't realize until late that the frozen four was being played at the Xcel Energy Center. This added incentive made me want this national championship more than anything in the world. I knew if they could get passed those two games, I would get my shot to see a chance at history. However, being a Minnesota fan, I've grown accustomed to disappointment. But by the grace of God, the team pulled the unthinkable and actually won. They were coming home to St. Paul to play for their first championship in 25 years. It was to close to be let down now.
The Gophers filled out a section of the frozen four along with Michigan, New Hampshire, and Maine. Relying on The Rick to get me to these games, he came through in the clutch and landed two of the three games. Maine vs New Hampshire and the championship game. I was slightly terrified that I was not going to see my Gopher finish off the dream season I prayed for every night for a solid month. So after I went home following Maine's destruction of New Hampshire in the first semi final game, I remember not breathing much with my eyes glued to the TV as the Gophers played Michigan. But this was my team, and of course they would not let me down. So as they squeezed past Michigan to get into the title game, I was ready to run around my block in joy. I couldn't sleep that night. I wanted the game to start just that instance, but I'm glad I waited. I was in no shape at that point to be able to endure the emotions I would feel the next night.
The Rick and I went into the Xcel around two hours before the game. He treated me to dinner, mainly cause The Rick was the man. The entire day I knew my brother slightly hated me through his envious tone on the phone, and to be fair I would have felt the same way had the tables been turned. But The Rick and I earned this game. We were there for every moment. Few fans can say they deserved it more than us.
We were seated about twenty rows up in the corner left of the Minnesota goaltender, Adam Hauser. In all the goalies I have watched from Steve DeBus to Adam Hauser to Kellen Briggs to (screw) Jeff Frazie to Alex Kangas, Hauser will always be my favorite. Watching him through the years was enough to always feel indebted to him. I still remember taking in the electricity of the crowd before the game. Two sections dedicated to Maine and the rest of the Xcel was Maroon and Gold.
As the puck dropped, I don't think I had a clear thought the rest of the game. It was all scrambled into me jumping up and down and feeling bipolar with the tempo of the game. In the first period, my favorite player on the team, Keith Ballard, put one in from the tops of circles. The Rick had pointed out Ballard to me the entire season and made appreciate the little things a player can do. I never thought I would like a player more than Erik Westrum, but Ballard overthrew that spot during this season. I still have an issue with any player that wears 13 on the gophers. I want to start an unspoken rule that 13 is retired forever. But, when Ballard put that goal in, I knew the planets were aligning just right.
Maine put in a game tying goal early on in the second period. To make this game just more perfect, the Maine player made a costly mistake. He pulled his glove off and shushed the crowd. I learned a lesson that day. If you're playing front of 17,000 out of 20,000 fans that oppose you, you really should not antagonize them unless you're winning. Only two minutes or so later, the crowd grew even louder as Johnny Pohl may have scored one of the greatest snipes to the low post I will probably ever watch. If you watch the video above, simply no one believes it could have gone in. I still have trouble believing that it happened, but I didn't care then, why should I now.
After two periods were done, I couldn't function. We were twenty minutes of play away from winning this game. So you can imagine the horrified look on my face when Maine put in the tying goal early in the third and the near tears I almost had when they went ahead with four and a half to go. When they went up 3-2, every gopher fan was in a state of shock. No one knew what to do. And that's when it happened. For the first time in my life, I was a part of something much bigger than me. Not one fan sat down the rest of that game. The crowd got louder and louder as the clock winded down. I was close to losing my voice by the time we called the timeout. I'll never forget during that timeout, The Rick looked at me and said were going to score. I would be lying if I told you I believed him. I was already so used to walking away disappointed in Minnesota sports, I didn't believe it could happen. But this was my team. They had to pull through.
With 58.3 seconds on the clock, I have to tell you that the next six seconds may very well be the most exciting 6 seconds I have ever had. I can still see the faceoff being won in my head. And when Matt Koalska scored I've never heard such a loud sound before. The Xcel center was literally shaking. Now, I didn't see this part as I was hugging and high fiving every person within a 50 foot radius around me, but Koalska leaping the boards into the bench is without question my favorite image in the history of sports. It even tops Kirby Puckett's fist pump in game 6 in my mind. Matt Koalska will always have a special spot in my memories.
Remember when David Ortiz had two game winning hits to take the Red Sox 2-3 against the Yankees in 2004, which inevitably led to them winning the world series. After those two games, they achieved a mentality of "no fucking were losing." And that's exactly the mentality the Gophers and the fans had when we took the game into overtime. I may have only been 12, but all that ran through my mind during that intermission was "no fucking way were losing this game." So when Maine took a penalty and our power play came on the ice, I knew this was it. Our power play had come through so many times before. Then it happened. Grant Potulney put in the goal that made me achieve a happiness I had never known before hand. I probably could have jump a pole vault bar without the pole I was so excited. All I could was hug and high five The Rick.
That was seven years ago. A lot has changed since then. I wish everyday I could live over those memories, but it will be a long time before that happens. However, the beauty of a memory is that no one can take it away from you. No matter what ever happens to me or The Rick, that moment will always be there between us, and that's how I will always see my dad as well. If you can take away anything from reading about this moment, please don't take the moments for granted. You never know when the moments that count someday become all you have left.
If you go up to any random person, most of them should have a day in the year that is special to them. It might be a birthday, an anniversary, or just a day where something amazing happened. These dates are implanted into our heads and bring us a chill just thinking about them. I happen to have a useless skill in remembering all dates that major things happen in my life. Everything from my first party, kiss, state championship, day in college, and other random seemingly meaningless events, I can tell you the date it happened. But more importantly I can remember one day that I'll hold dearly the rest of my life. Fortunately, most of you hold it too, but for very different reasons. Exactly 7 years and 2 days ago, I witnessed the greatest hockey game ever seen in the state of Minnesota.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqRfMPRJkY8
Watch that video. I simply dare you to. If you don't get chills from it, you very well might not have a soul. And although this game might mean something to you, let me explain what it means to me.
As many of you know, growing up I've created an unhealthy obsession with sports. Baseball will always be my first love, but hockey is right behind it. Now I will not take full credit for creating this passion, in fact I owe credit to two special people, my brother Allan and of course The Rick. I feel like my mom will be offended when she reads this, so let me make it clear that she was there for every little moment to and I'll never be able to repay her, but Al and Rick made me into the wannabe athlete I soon became.
By the age of 12, the two men in my life had formed me into a top notch baseball player and a hockey player that always worked hard enough to get cut at the last second (I swear I'm not bitter...Mike Ryan...). So with the baseball season ending and winter coming around, what could be a better joy for a 12 year old hockey player than season tickets at Marriuchi Arena for the entire Gopher hockey season. Those Saturday nights with the Rick are some of the happiest I'll ever remember. I came to love that team like my own family. To this day, I can still recall damn near every player including the likes of Johnny Pohl, Jordan Leopold, Kieth Ballard, Matt Demarchi, Matt Koalska, Jon Waibel, Paul Martin, Troy Riddle, and Nick Angell. As The Rick and I watched every home game every Saturday night, I fell in love with the atmosphere. I learned every cheer, every dance, every fight song, and basically anything the student section would do. This was my team. This was so my team in fact, that not one time that I went to a game did the gophers lose. Through all the Twins, Vikings, Timberwolves, and any other sports team that I have loved, this roster ranks above them all.
As the season ended, I was elated when the Gophers made it to field of 16 for the national tournament. I didn't realize until late that the frozen four was being played at the Xcel Energy Center. This added incentive made me want this national championship more than anything in the world. I knew if they could get passed those two games, I would get my shot to see a chance at history. However, being a Minnesota fan, I've grown accustomed to disappointment. But by the grace of God, the team pulled the unthinkable and actually won. They were coming home to St. Paul to play for their first championship in 25 years. It was to close to be let down now.
The Gophers filled out a section of the frozen four along with Michigan, New Hampshire, and Maine. Relying on The Rick to get me to these games, he came through in the clutch and landed two of the three games. Maine vs New Hampshire and the championship game. I was slightly terrified that I was not going to see my Gopher finish off the dream season I prayed for every night for a solid month. So after I went home following Maine's destruction of New Hampshire in the first semi final game, I remember not breathing much with my eyes glued to the TV as the Gophers played Michigan. But this was my team, and of course they would not let me down. So as they squeezed past Michigan to get into the title game, I was ready to run around my block in joy. I couldn't sleep that night. I wanted the game to start just that instance, but I'm glad I waited. I was in no shape at that point to be able to endure the emotions I would feel the next night.
The Rick and I went into the Xcel around two hours before the game. He treated me to dinner, mainly cause The Rick was the man. The entire day I knew my brother slightly hated me through his envious tone on the phone, and to be fair I would have felt the same way had the tables been turned. But The Rick and I earned this game. We were there for every moment. Few fans can say they deserved it more than us.
We were seated about twenty rows up in the corner left of the Minnesota goaltender, Adam Hauser. In all the goalies I have watched from Steve DeBus to Adam Hauser to Kellen Briggs to (screw) Jeff Frazie to Alex Kangas, Hauser will always be my favorite. Watching him through the years was enough to always feel indebted to him. I still remember taking in the electricity of the crowd before the game. Two sections dedicated to Maine and the rest of the Xcel was Maroon and Gold.
As the puck dropped, I don't think I had a clear thought the rest of the game. It was all scrambled into me jumping up and down and feeling bipolar with the tempo of the game. In the first period, my favorite player on the team, Keith Ballard, put one in from the tops of circles. The Rick had pointed out Ballard to me the entire season and made appreciate the little things a player can do. I never thought I would like a player more than Erik Westrum, but Ballard overthrew that spot during this season. I still have an issue with any player that wears 13 on the gophers. I want to start an unspoken rule that 13 is retired forever. But, when Ballard put that goal in, I knew the planets were aligning just right.
Maine put in a game tying goal early on in the second period. To make this game just more perfect, the Maine player made a costly mistake. He pulled his glove off and shushed the crowd. I learned a lesson that day. If you're playing front of 17,000 out of 20,000 fans that oppose you, you really should not antagonize them unless you're winning. Only two minutes or so later, the crowd grew even louder as Johnny Pohl may have scored one of the greatest snipes to the low post I will probably ever watch. If you watch the video above, simply no one believes it could have gone in. I still have trouble believing that it happened, but I didn't care then, why should I now.
After two periods were done, I couldn't function. We were twenty minutes of play away from winning this game. So you can imagine the horrified look on my face when Maine put in the tying goal early in the third and the near tears I almost had when they went ahead with four and a half to go. When they went up 3-2, every gopher fan was in a state of shock. No one knew what to do. And that's when it happened. For the first time in my life, I was a part of something much bigger than me. Not one fan sat down the rest of that game. The crowd got louder and louder as the clock winded down. I was close to losing my voice by the time we called the timeout. I'll never forget during that timeout, The Rick looked at me and said were going to score. I would be lying if I told you I believed him. I was already so used to walking away disappointed in Minnesota sports, I didn't believe it could happen. But this was my team. They had to pull through.
With 58.3 seconds on the clock, I have to tell you that the next six seconds may very well be the most exciting 6 seconds I have ever had. I can still see the faceoff being won in my head. And when Matt Koalska scored I've never heard such a loud sound before. The Xcel center was literally shaking. Now, I didn't see this part as I was hugging and high fiving every person within a 50 foot radius around me, but Koalska leaping the boards into the bench is without question my favorite image in the history of sports. It even tops Kirby Puckett's fist pump in game 6 in my mind. Matt Koalska will always have a special spot in my memories.
Remember when David Ortiz had two game winning hits to take the Red Sox 2-3 against the Yankees in 2004, which inevitably led to them winning the world series. After those two games, they achieved a mentality of "no fucking were losing." And that's exactly the mentality the Gophers and the fans had when we took the game into overtime. I may have only been 12, but all that ran through my mind during that intermission was "no fucking way were losing this game." So when Maine took a penalty and our power play came on the ice, I knew this was it. Our power play had come through so many times before. Then it happened. Grant Potulney put in the goal that made me achieve a happiness I had never known before hand. I probably could have jump a pole vault bar without the pole I was so excited. All I could was hug and high five The Rick.
That was seven years ago. A lot has changed since then. I wish everyday I could live over those memories, but it will be a long time before that happens. However, the beauty of a memory is that no one can take it away from you. No matter what ever happens to me or The Rick, that moment will always be there between us, and that's how I will always see my dad as well. If you can take away anything from reading about this moment, please don't take the moments for granted. You never know when the moments that count someday become all you have left.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Insomniac Diaries Chapter 3
Dear Diary,
You're truly the only one who understand me...
So I feel that after three years of hefty studying and review of just about every Cold Case and Without A Trace episode, I've determined that every one of these shows runs the exact same way. Sorry to ruin the end, but the first person the cops interview will inevitably be the killer. Even if its the murder body's brother who in fact called the cops to find the killer, he somehow will in the end reveal his whole masterful plot of how and why he killed the person, despite the cops having no hard evidence. Could one of these people please get a lawyer and succumb to the pressure of detective Lilly Rush. Just make fun of her screwed up haircut and her ghostly white skin and keep your mouth shut. I have not passed the bar in any state, but thanks to Law and Order (the pre late night phenomenon of my life) I could get everyone of these arrested killers off the hook. I watch to much TV...
Can someone please explain to me why the hell the world needs Twitter? Are we just trying to prove Orson Wells right? I mean my God, why the hell would I want to know what everyone I know is doing at all times. I don't care that Jeremy has "cracked his second dew and is going to continue watching TV!!!" or that Al is "making driving thirty minutes to work!!!" (By the way, I chose these two names as I know they both will never use Twitter and can enjoy the irony of the idea that they'd use such technology) But I mean seriously, the idea that I actually care what all of you are doing 24 hours a day is disturbing. That's called stalking folks. I'm convinced Twitter was created for the people that are over forty and missed out on the Facebook craze who now want to feel hip and cool. I declare now that I will not use Twitter ever. Until peer pressure gets to me. I'm a sucker for that stuff.
I'm afraid of Anime Clubs. Glad to have that off my chest. The first step is admitting the problem.
So I won my bracket pool and got 65 dollars. I also won purely for the reason that I have created the North Carolina-MSU theory. It states that no matter how the bracket is setup, these two teams will eventually play each other. It has worked 3 of the last 5 years. Keep that in mind next year before you lose yet another pool. I'm gonna go celebrate with a real meal, because that's how I roll since I became poor and writing a blog for one penny every four days.
So I just learned that the ShamWow guy has been charged with battery for beating the hell out of a 26 year old prostitute that bit his tongue and wouldn't let go. Apparently, because obviously he couldn't do it all day, hitting her in the face was the best idea he could think of. I'd like to officially declare Billy Mays the winner of the infomercial spokesman rivalry. This is bigger than Nas over Jay Z, or Eminem over Moby.
You're truly the only one who understand me...
So I feel that after three years of hefty studying and review of just about every Cold Case and Without A Trace episode, I've determined that every one of these shows runs the exact same way. Sorry to ruin the end, but the first person the cops interview will inevitably be the killer. Even if its the murder body's brother who in fact called the cops to find the killer, he somehow will in the end reveal his whole masterful plot of how and why he killed the person, despite the cops having no hard evidence. Could one of these people please get a lawyer and succumb to the pressure of detective Lilly Rush. Just make fun of her screwed up haircut and her ghostly white skin and keep your mouth shut. I have not passed the bar in any state, but thanks to Law and Order (the pre late night phenomenon of my life) I could get everyone of these arrested killers off the hook. I watch to much TV...
Can someone please explain to me why the hell the world needs Twitter? Are we just trying to prove Orson Wells right? I mean my God, why the hell would I want to know what everyone I know is doing at all times. I don't care that Jeremy has "cracked his second dew and is going to continue watching TV!!!" or that Al is "making driving thirty minutes to work!!!" (By the way, I chose these two names as I know they both will never use Twitter and can enjoy the irony of the idea that they'd use such technology) But I mean seriously, the idea that I actually care what all of you are doing 24 hours a day is disturbing. That's called stalking folks. I'm convinced Twitter was created for the people that are over forty and missed out on the Facebook craze who now want to feel hip and cool. I declare now that I will not use Twitter ever. Until peer pressure gets to me. I'm a sucker for that stuff.
I'm afraid of Anime Clubs. Glad to have that off my chest. The first step is admitting the problem.
So I won my bracket pool and got 65 dollars. I also won purely for the reason that I have created the North Carolina-MSU theory. It states that no matter how the bracket is setup, these two teams will eventually play each other. It has worked 3 of the last 5 years. Keep that in mind next year before you lose yet another pool. I'm gonna go celebrate with a real meal, because that's how I roll since I became poor and writing a blog for one penny every four days.
So I just learned that the ShamWow guy has been charged with battery for beating the hell out of a 26 year old prostitute that bit his tongue and wouldn't let go. Apparently, because obviously he couldn't do it all day, hitting her in the face was the best idea he could think of. I'd like to officially declare Billy Mays the winner of the infomercial spokesman rivalry. This is bigger than Nas over Jay Z, or Eminem over Moby.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Get Excited
BREAKING NEWS: I love baseball. I'll give you all a minute to process such shocking news. And with such news, it should be easy to understand why tomorrow is one of my favorite days of the year. Opening is essentially an unofficial holiday. It has a lot of similarities to Christmas in fact. I smile randomly during the days leading up to it, I lay awake the night before trying to figure out what the next day will bring, and ESPN is kind enough to let me open one present on opening day's eve by giving me the Phillies and Braves the night before. But people ask me why I get so excited for a day that is seemingly meaning less by the end of the year since there 161 more games to be played. So in order to answer your inquiries, here's my top 5 reason why I can't wait till tomorrow.
1. 5 Games, 45+ innings, and 270+ outs
Even though I'm stuck in the land of nothing known as Iowa and do not get to see my Twins, ESPN is kind enough to make it up to me by playing 5 games all day. And since this country falls for the annual trick that the Cubs are finally going to defeat the billy goat curse, I will get to watch my reserve love, the Houston Astros. I'm just hoping my teachers will understand when I send them an email reporting that I cannot attend class today due to Hunter Pence.
2. Daily entertainment
People that tell me they like football more than baseball are simply telling me they are not that passionate about sports. My reasoning behind this is football is one of the most painful sports to watch when you actually care about sports. When the Vikings are in season, I have the weekly fear that if they lose, my next seven days are wrecked. I can't watch sports center till the next week because the very chance that I'll have to see a highlight is to much for me to handle. However, baseball has a way to solve such a problem. Although when the Twins lose, I'm still to depressed to watch Baseball Tonight that night, the next day brings me another chance. Every day I can feel hopeful about the night. Life is a little brighter when a new hope arises every morning.
3. Baseball Tonight
Even though I just reported about how I cannot watch this program about seventy nights every season, this show is a baseball geek's drug. When we can't get enough stats and highlights from the internet, Baseball Tonight steps up to the plate and gives all of us the fix we need. If ESPN ever finally realizes that John Kruk is actually mentally impaired and lured him away by buying out his contract of 1 egg salad sandwich a day, I don't believe I would ever need to change the channel. (Please ESPN, make this happen. You don't need to compete with Fox in trying to have the worst baseball commentator on earth. You cannot beat Tim McCarver. Cut your losses and lose Kruk.)
4. Fantasy Baseball
Yes, I know I'm a stats geek. I don't care. The last few seasons, I have been awful fantasy wise. I believe my issue was that I was still "playing" the sport (more so watching from the bench, but that's not the point). However, without daily practice and me praying it will rain so practice would be canceled and I could go watch Around the Horn, I have the itch again. I now live and die on how Micha Owings pitched the night before. I will create love/hate relationships with the likes of Khalil Greene and Brian Fuentes. And I'll also feel special knowing I'm one of six people that Brandon Wood needs to impress. The Yambo Gods are looking to shine this year.
1. The Quest to the Next Twins World Series Win Begins
When Boston won the world series in 2004, the reporters created a habit to go up to the oldest people they could see and show a graphic about how this man was alive the last time the Red Sox won the world series in 1918. This is the most terrifying image I've witnessed in my lifetime. As they continuously made these interviews, I vowed to never be that guy. I refuse to not be living in 2077 waiting for my first world series win since I was one. And I know deep down the Twins know my fear. That is why this is the year they remind me why I love sports and give me the memories I so full heartily crave. I've hated Joe Crede all my life, but now I welcome him with open arms. Michael Cuddyer is going to hit the rejuvenate button and show his 2006 side all over again. Delmon Young is going to live up to the hype that he once had. Liriano is going to be the most feared AL pitcher this year. And I will celebrate in the streets when Gardy hoists up the championship trophy over his head in October as the state of Minnesota retires baseball in the Metrodome. No, I don't think I'm delusional, I'm just a kid who cares. If you want to take that away from me, you're a horrible person. How does that self loathing feel. That's what I thought.
So join me folks in enjoying the best nonholiday of the year tomorrow. Call in sick for work, skip classes, and reschedule your appointments. The best six months of the year begins tomorrow and I could be more excited. And if the Twins let me down at the end of the year, I still got 67 more years till I need to worry.
1. 5 Games, 45+ innings, and 270+ outs
Even though I'm stuck in the land of nothing known as Iowa and do not get to see my Twins, ESPN is kind enough to make it up to me by playing 5 games all day. And since this country falls for the annual trick that the Cubs are finally going to defeat the billy goat curse, I will get to watch my reserve love, the Houston Astros. I'm just hoping my teachers will understand when I send them an email reporting that I cannot attend class today due to Hunter Pence.
2. Daily entertainment
People that tell me they like football more than baseball are simply telling me they are not that passionate about sports. My reasoning behind this is football is one of the most painful sports to watch when you actually care about sports. When the Vikings are in season, I have the weekly fear that if they lose, my next seven days are wrecked. I can't watch sports center till the next week because the very chance that I'll have to see a highlight is to much for me to handle. However, baseball has a way to solve such a problem. Although when the Twins lose, I'm still to depressed to watch Baseball Tonight that night, the next day brings me another chance. Every day I can feel hopeful about the night. Life is a little brighter when a new hope arises every morning.
3. Baseball Tonight
Even though I just reported about how I cannot watch this program about seventy nights every season, this show is a baseball geek's drug. When we can't get enough stats and highlights from the internet, Baseball Tonight steps up to the plate and gives all of us the fix we need. If ESPN ever finally realizes that John Kruk is actually mentally impaired and lured him away by buying out his contract of 1 egg salad sandwich a day, I don't believe I would ever need to change the channel. (Please ESPN, make this happen. You don't need to compete with Fox in trying to have the worst baseball commentator on earth. You cannot beat Tim McCarver. Cut your losses and lose Kruk.)
4. Fantasy Baseball
Yes, I know I'm a stats geek. I don't care. The last few seasons, I have been awful fantasy wise. I believe my issue was that I was still "playing" the sport (more so watching from the bench, but that's not the point). However, without daily practice and me praying it will rain so practice would be canceled and I could go watch Around the Horn, I have the itch again. I now live and die on how Micha Owings pitched the night before. I will create love/hate relationships with the likes of Khalil Greene and Brian Fuentes. And I'll also feel special knowing I'm one of six people that Brandon Wood needs to impress. The Yambo Gods are looking to shine this year.
1. The Quest to the Next Twins World Series Win Begins
When Boston won the world series in 2004, the reporters created a habit to go up to the oldest people they could see and show a graphic about how this man was alive the last time the Red Sox won the world series in 1918. This is the most terrifying image I've witnessed in my lifetime. As they continuously made these interviews, I vowed to never be that guy. I refuse to not be living in 2077 waiting for my first world series win since I was one. And I know deep down the Twins know my fear. That is why this is the year they remind me why I love sports and give me the memories I so full heartily crave. I've hated Joe Crede all my life, but now I welcome him with open arms. Michael Cuddyer is going to hit the rejuvenate button and show his 2006 side all over again. Delmon Young is going to live up to the hype that he once had. Liriano is going to be the most feared AL pitcher this year. And I will celebrate in the streets when Gardy hoists up the championship trophy over his head in October as the state of Minnesota retires baseball in the Metrodome. No, I don't think I'm delusional, I'm just a kid who cares. If you want to take that away from me, you're a horrible person. How does that self loathing feel. That's what I thought.
So join me folks in enjoying the best nonholiday of the year tomorrow. Call in sick for work, skip classes, and reschedule your appointments. The best six months of the year begins tomorrow and I could be more excited. And if the Twins let me down at the end of the year, I still got 67 more years till I need to worry.
Friday, April 3, 2009
It's the Weekend, Give Me a Break
I'm taking a two day break, as you can see from me not posting anything yesterday and today. I'm right now collecting thoughts to be able to go on a nice week streak like I was able to pull off before. To those of you that this disgruntles, I apologize. I'll make up for it this week. And if I still don't please you, then you're expecting to much from a free blog. Complain when this site is legit. Thank you
How to Waste Two Hours...
This is more interesting than anything i can write tonight. Sports tomorrow!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAaQNACwaLw
Before you watch, I want to give a forewarning that this video has to do with underground politics of the United States. I also want to say that I am not being a Republican asshole trying to tear down Obama, I'm simply posting a very controversial video that some of you might love to watch. If politics aren't your thing, please skip this link and move on. If you're big on world wide conspiracies, this is for you. Enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAaQNACwaLw
Before you watch, I want to give a forewarning that this video has to do with underground politics of the United States. I also want to say that I am not being a Republican asshole trying to tear down Obama, I'm simply posting a very controversial video that some of you might love to watch. If politics aren't your thing, please skip this link and move on. If you're big on world wide conspiracies, this is for you. Enjoy
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I Love You Man
In the last few years, MTV has done some unforgivable things that include Two Tila Tequilas, Paris Hilton's BFF, From G's to Gents, and of course a Double Shot at love, cause apparently one fake lesbian isn't enough for awful reality shows. It's an amazing ability to make VH1 reality shows look classy. I really didn't see it coming. However, the one show that I refused to watch even one nanosecond of was Bromance. Seriously, this show may very well be the center reason why other countries hate us. Even I lose patriotism when I remember that the show happened. The whole premise of this show is ridiculous. I could never star in a show like this. What would be the challenges I throw? "Okay. Tonight, whoever can order a pizza the fastest to my house wins the reward of getting to watch the Twins with me later on. Ready, set, go!" We're guys. We aren't supposed to compete for love. However, the show somehow left one lasting effect on our once proud country. The word "Bromance" is a term that is apparently not going away. So in honor of the new term, let us discuss the film that has put bromances everywhere to the foreground.
I recently attended the new Paul Rudd and Jason Segal movie "I Love You Man" last week when I realized how popular I was, and determined my options for the Friday night were stay in and read, or go to the theater by myself and blend in among the high school crowd (If you recall my mall rant, that sort of feeling overcame my emotions once again. Luckily the theater is dark and quiet so I could lose focus on the public around me). With the movie appearing to have a Judd Apatow feel to it, I watched the movie with high hopes, and walked out of the theater satisfied but not amazed.
The movie centers around Paul Rudd, who is a guy that has always been deemed as a "girlfriend kind of guy." After he proposes to girlfriend in the first scene of the movie, his brother (Andy Samberg) and the rest of his family point out how hes never actually had a best guy friend. From there on, we watch Rudd go through a montage of "man dates" and predictably watch him struggle. Once he is close to giving up, he meets an intriguing guy named Sydney (Jason Segal). From there we watch how the "bromance" between Rudd and Segal and how it effects them in other aspects of life, eventually leading up to Rudd's wedding.
Although I would not rank this movie above such other comedy favorites like 40 Year Old v=Virgin, Knocked Up, or Forgetting Sarah Marshall, this movie does deliver everything the audience could expect. Throughout the movie, there are plenty of lines that make you laugh and want to remember to throw into conversation later on. However, Paul Rudd fans may be a bit disappointed by his performance in this film. I was letdown to find out he was not playing his typical clever, quick quipped kind of character that I loved in Knocked Up and Role Models. Instead, I found myself rooting against his character in certain situations. However, his shortcomings are more than made up for by Jason Segal. The character Sydney is the kind of guy we all would love to share a "bromance" with (see doesn't that feel weird to say, I'm still not sure about this term). Andy Samberg also does not disappoint with his role as Paul Rudd's younger gay brother that likes to turn straight guys for the challenge.
Despite certain things about the film that seem a little forced, such as the Lou Ferrigno scenes and joke, this movie is perfect for people who want a laugh and have a little fun. Groups looking to go see a movie to fill the night should look immediately into this film. It's rewatchabilty is something to be seen, but is for sure worth a chance by anyone that is looking for a comedy.
Overall: 7/10
I recently attended the new Paul Rudd and Jason Segal movie "I Love You Man" last week when I realized how popular I was, and determined my options for the Friday night were stay in and read, or go to the theater by myself and blend in among the high school crowd (If you recall my mall rant, that sort of feeling overcame my emotions once again. Luckily the theater is dark and quiet so I could lose focus on the public around me). With the movie appearing to have a Judd Apatow feel to it, I watched the movie with high hopes, and walked out of the theater satisfied but not amazed.
The movie centers around Paul Rudd, who is a guy that has always been deemed as a "girlfriend kind of guy." After he proposes to girlfriend in the first scene of the movie, his brother (Andy Samberg) and the rest of his family point out how hes never actually had a best guy friend. From there on, we watch Rudd go through a montage of "man dates" and predictably watch him struggle. Once he is close to giving up, he meets an intriguing guy named Sydney (Jason Segal). From there we watch how the "bromance" between Rudd and Segal and how it effects them in other aspects of life, eventually leading up to Rudd's wedding.
Although I would not rank this movie above such other comedy favorites like 40 Year Old v=Virgin, Knocked Up, or Forgetting Sarah Marshall, this movie does deliver everything the audience could expect. Throughout the movie, there are plenty of lines that make you laugh and want to remember to throw into conversation later on. However, Paul Rudd fans may be a bit disappointed by his performance in this film. I was letdown to find out he was not playing his typical clever, quick quipped kind of character that I loved in Knocked Up and Role Models. Instead, I found myself rooting against his character in certain situations. However, his shortcomings are more than made up for by Jason Segal. The character Sydney is the kind of guy we all would love to share a "bromance" with (see doesn't that feel weird to say, I'm still not sure about this term). Andy Samberg also does not disappoint with his role as Paul Rudd's younger gay brother that likes to turn straight guys for the challenge.
Despite certain things about the film that seem a little forced, such as the Lou Ferrigno scenes and joke, this movie is perfect for people who want a laugh and have a little fun. Groups looking to go see a movie to fill the night should look immediately into this film. It's rewatchabilty is something to be seen, but is for sure worth a chance by anyone that is looking for a comedy.
Overall: 7/10
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